Meditation on Heartbreak

Meditation on heartbreak

I come to you Lord with a broken heart, and I am reminded of my sin that broke yours. The pain I feel is so great, yet my pain is minuscule, compared to yours.
How many times have I broken your heart my Lord? How many times? How many sins? How many prayers have I neglected? How often do I abandon you for earthly pleasures and comforts my Lord? Yet, I have the audacity to weep, or even become angry when I feel abandoned.
The whole world has turned our backs on you my Lord- yet you still reach out, and once again we ignore your calls. You send graces upon graces, and we are still unmoved. Knowing this, you suffered human life on earth, and a lowly death on the cross, yet we continue to run after imperfect loves and desires instead.
Have mercy on us cruel, cold, miserable sinners. Forgive us for our selfish desires.

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“O Sacred Heart of Jesus, fountain of eternal life,
Your Heart is a glowing furnace of Love.
You are my refuge and my sanctuary.
O my adorable and loving Savior,
consume my heart with the burning fire with which Yours is aflamed.
Pour down on my soul those graces which flow from Your love.
Let my heart be united with Yours.
Let my will be conformed to Yours in all things.
May Your Will be the rule of all my desires and actions. Amen.”

  • St. Gertrude the Great
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Your meditation has made me reflect on my actions, how often even now have I neglected my duties… I think in times like this one thing to remember is the parabale of the prodigal son in the gospel of Luke. This story has gotten me through quite some troubling times. When we feel abandoned, we have abandoned Christ. Yet he welcomes us back unlike the ones who abandoned us.

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Fr Chad Rippiger says that no one who is wounded in the heart can make it to Heaven - the burden of grief and really, resentment and grudge against God - because that’s what all grief boils down to - is too heavy a burden to ascend to God with it.

I spend much time reflecting on that statement when I was going through my own break up, it was very serious for a long time and it was devastating for me. God doesn’t expect us to be perfect right away, actually He only wants us to strive towards perfection as best as we can, and seeing that struggle He grants us His Graces as He sees fit. I can say much about that period, but the most important thing I can say about my ex gf is that she has taught me to pray. It’s these moments that really strengthen our Faith when we look back at it. My advice is, as much as you can, offer up your pain to God. Don’t be ashamed of your pain in comparison to Our Lord’s, it is said that He will wipe away every tear - He became flesh in part to share our human experience and pain and suffering. Offer your pain for the salvation of souls, and if you can spare it, pray for the well being and salvation of your ex. If you were Orthodox I would recommend praying to Mother Matrona of Moscow, but I’m sure y’all Catholics have your own patron Saint for mending broken hearts.

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Yes, I love being able offer things up!! I don’t feel ashamed of pain per se, it just feels hypocritical to inflict pain carelessly and become upset about my own. That being said, sorrows in life can draw us nearer to God. They can hold us back if we are disordered in our reaction to it, and if we wallow in it, but it’s also a good opportunity to reflect and grow. It’s okay to feel sorrow and loss, but we have to run to God, instead of becoming bitter or weary. We overcome it eventually with His help. :)

“The heart of Jesus is closer to you when you suffer than when you’re full of joy” - St Margaret Mary Alacoque

Psalm 34:18

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